Geordie Kiss

OK, so just imagine you are Cheryl Cole for a moment (not an easy task in visualization I must admit). Your first song is really catchy. 5 year olds throughout the land pester their parents to go out and buy your song by the bucketload from Tescos. On top of this you are riding high on your X-Factor success, with the media trying to present you as the 21st Century version of Vera Lynn. You even manage to get the guy from the Black-Eyed-Peas to do a tune with you AND appear in your video (yes, you heard me correctly, the guy from the Black-Eyed-Peas!) The only trouble is, the song sucks and nobody likes it (not even the 5 year olds that bought the first record - plus they force you to wear a dodgy blonde wig in the video - boo hoo). Only our Chezza could totally turn things around by releasing such a poptastic follow-up record like "Parachute". Cue accompanying stylish video with a  few Strictly-type tangoing male-hotties. Et voila, you are now ready for world pop domination.Watch. This. Space.

Cheryl Cole. Or is it Vera Lynn?